Starting over

12_Angels_Publishing_1These last few months, I’ve been doing a lot, a lot of thinking. You see I got into self-publishing about three years ago in the fall of 2012. This November will mark my third year.

I wish I could say that I’ve experienced great success and I am but a breath away from reaching my goals of doing this full time. But sadly, the reality is, I’m no where close to that dream.

Yes, I am further than where I started, but my path has taken twists and turns that have  often left me confused and discouraged. At times, I’ve even felt taken advantage of. While there are many great people out there, unfortunately there are also a lot of bad ones and one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in these three years is that I cannot be so trusting. Not everyone means what they say. Essentially, the saying “buyer beware!” is the golden rule to follow on the internet.

I am not posting this to feel sorry for myself. But rather, because I need to be honest with myself.

In the past three years, can I really say that I’ve put forth true, committed effort? No, I can’t.

Admitting that kills me, but I need that cold douse of water thrown at my face to wake me up. I need that honestly to scream at me, get in my face, and slap me upside the head. It pains me to admit that I’m failing in this endeavor because of… me.

I’ve even told myself that maybe writing isn’t for me. That I got into writing because my friend did. That I was nothing, but a hack and a phony. That I had no talent, no skill, nothing worthy enough to read.

So why, in my darkest moment, do I go back to writing? Why, when I’m thinking about the future, writing is a part of it? Why do I cringe when I think about putting down my pen permanently? I love to write. I’ve finally found a love that multiples my soul in so many ways and it doesn’t ask for anything back, but for me to keep at it.

In all this time, I have not been able to get away from myself or to get away from the fears that have always held me back. Why? I’m sitting here shaking my head because I don’t have a good reason. Even in the face of disaster, when this book business could have been my safety net, and my salvation, I didn’t do what had to be done. Why? Cause I’m an idiot, that’s why!

In the meantime, I see so many people that I started with rise to greatness. I feel lost and pushed behind their wake of success. You know like that salmon swimming upstream, only to die at the end or be eaten by a bear? That’s what it’s been feeling like.

Well, I’ve had enough. I’m done being afraid. Life is passing too quickly.

I may be more of a tortoise than a hare when it comes to finding my book success, but I will find it. The time has come for me to start anew. I’m not a sparkly new penny anymore. I’ve been tossed around, scratched, and have landed in dirt more times than I care to admit, but I’m still here.

This journey is not over and there’s more in store for me.

I believe there’s more in store for all of us, and we will each find our success, and see our dreams materialize in the best ways.

Abundance and joy to you.





Keep on writing…

Yellow Autumn Leaves On TreesWhen I first started this blog, my goal was to share all that I’m learning in the journey I’ve undertaken as a new author.

It’s been full of ups and downs.  Mostly downs because when you feel like you are nothing but a little seedling that has yet to crack open, it is hard to imagine what that one day will feel like when your trunk has finally grown solid and strong and has soared to heights that was only imagined.

There are many “grown trees” in the forest, which sometimes feels like a jungle.  But, it’s just a matter of finding those trees, planting yourself near them, and hopefully with their help, the seedling will also grow into a strong, abundant, thriving, tree.

I think by now, you know that my analogy relates to my experience so far.  But this is what it feels like to be surrounded by authors who make it look so easy and effortless.  They make the process look like magic.  They write a book, publish, and bam they’re making lots of green!    My experience has not been like that.  Don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t been a bad experience at all, in fact it has been eye opening and I hope to one day reach the skies with my branches too like so many successful authors who have paved the way, but for now I’m still trying to figure this out.  But I believe that the sky is limitless and there’s plenty of room at the top.  I’ll get there too 🙂

Here’s what I want to share with you if you are thinking about going into self-publishing:

  1. Write, write, and write some more.  This is your product.  Make sure it is top quality.  There are lots of bad material out there and you don’t want to get pooled with that group.
  2. This is not an easy business.  There is lots to learn.  Be patient and be flexible.  Mistakes will be made, but the important thing is to find the lesson within the mistake.
  3. Make sure that you learn as much as you can about INTERNET MARKETING.  Because whether you like it or not, if you are a self-published author you are also an internet marketer.  (This has been my biggest stumbling block.)
  4. Learn about e-PUBLISHING and what it takes to publish your work on the very many platforms that are now available to authors.
  5. Find groups and forums that will help support your journey.  There is wealth of knowledge out there and I’ve found that the author community is very giving and helpful.  Check Twitter and Facebook for these groups.
  6. Invest wisely.  Seek out resources.  You won’t be able to do everything yourself.  Eventually you will need assistance and there are lots of freelancers out there who are more than capable of delivering to you what you need.  Figure out where you want to invest your time and money.

Alrighty then!  Till the next time 🙂