Sometimes the Prize Isn’t Winning
Yesterday, I attended a wedding.
After spending the last couple of weeks recovering from COVID, it was nice to get dressed up, leave the house, and celebrate something wonderful. Granted, my allergies decided to make an appearance, and I had to excuse myself during the ceremony because I couldn’t stop coughing. Apparently, my lungs didn’t get the memo that we were attending a wedding and not a coughing competition.
But overall, it was a lovely day.
And somewhere between the ceremony, the celebration, and the speeches, I heard something that really stayed with me.
During the reception, my nephew gave a toast to his older sister, the bride.
Now, these two have always been competitive. Sports, academics, you name it. And apparently, big sister has always had the upper hand. No matter how hard little brother tried, she always seemed to come out on top.
His toast was funny, as you’d expect from him. There were laughs, of course. But then he said something that I thought was incredibly thoughtful.
He talked about how he’d spent so much of his life trying to beat his sister at something. And although he never quite managed it, that constant pursuit made him a better person.
Because of her, he learned to work harder. To persevere. To keep trying even when things weren’t going his way. He didn’t want to be a quitter, and somewhere along the way, that determination became part of who he was.
And he thanked her for it.
Well, big sister cried.
And I sat there thinking about what he’d just said.
Sometimes the greatest reward isn’t achieving what we set out to do. It’s becoming someone better because we tried.
I think there’s something especially beautiful about realizing that. We spend so much of our lives measuring success by whether we reached a particular goal. Did we win? Did we finish? Did we accomplish what we set out to do?
But what about everything we learned along the way?
As a writer, I can certainly relate.
There are stories I want to tell, books I want to finish, and dreams I’m still working toward. Some days I make progress. Other days, not so much. And there are certainly moments when I wonder whether all the time and effort will eventually amount to something. Honestly, I think about giving up all the time.
But when I think about where I started and what I’ve learned since then, I realize that the journey itself has already given me something.
I’ve become more disciplined. More patient. More willing to try things I wouldn’t have attempted before. And perhaps most importantly, I’ve learned that not succeeding at something right away doesn’t mean I should stop trying.
I’m still chasing my own goals. I haven’t caught all of them yet.
Maybe I will. Maybe some will lead me somewhere entirely different.
But either way, I hope I can look back someday and appreciate not just what I’ve accomplished, but who I’ve become in the process.
Yesterday, I went to a wedding to celebrate two people beginning a new chapter together.
I came home thinking about a little brother who spent years trying to beat his big sister, only to realize she’d given him something much more valuable than a victory.
And judging by her tears, I think she realized it, too.
Sometimes, the prize really isn’t winning.
Sometimes, it’s everything we gain along the way.
